Corner

Yes I do belive I've turned the corner.

What corner is that you ask?
The one of decreasing light exponentially decreasing my motivation. The days have started to get longer again, of course only by a minute per day but my body, mind, and soul do register it, process it, let it warm me, gradually bubbling up to the ferverous boil of the Summer season that's ever so far away.

My mornings at this time of the year often consist of me saying "it's to cold to go outside" which yes sometimes it is, but most times that simply is a mamby pamby excuse for me to stay inside, have another cup of coffee and pretend I'm getting things done inside. So untill two days ago, after feeding the Hogs I would retreat back inside and get on with my procrastionation for the day. Which is in my mind is well justified with mental notes of " this is the balance of those 12 hour days in the summer" which of course it is, yet I still at the end of the day manage to find myself beating my Self up for "not working enough" . An awful cunnudrum even though I'm well aware of it, and doing my best to Loveingly apply Compassion to my wounded Self.

So when my Body, Mind, Soul start to register those ever increasing daylight hours my motivation starts to creep upward, slowly seeping thru, lubricating my joints and lessing the ennui that plagues me. It feels nice. Even though I know I have started the long slow boil of my blood to the intesity of late summers peak.

Farming is cycles. And after all these years I'm still working on my intimate knowledge of them. No matter how aware of them I am, they still torture me, reward me, generally rule my life, and enslave me to them. For a master they treat me well, only beating me with my own self generated struggle, and they are actually truelly slowly liberating me, enlightening me, showing me the way to true freedom.